It’s about 2pm, Thursday, when I arrive back at my desk after lunching on Japanese with a good friend of mine.

And as soon as I see my mobile, my face lights up because I can see three missed calls from Dave*.

“Silly bugger! I’ll bet he has another daggy dad joke for me.” I mumble to myself.

When it comes to friends, Dave’s like the Rock of Gibraltar. Rock solid, breathtakingly honest and just a really good fella to sit and shoot the breeze with over a beer.

So I brush the voicemail and cut straight through.

“G’day mate, how’s things?”

“Mate, I’m in trouble!”

I immediately sit up because his voice is racing and clearly, he’s anxious. I’ve never heard him like this before. Ever.

“What’s wrong mate?”

“This virus is killing my business. It’s gone completely dead in ONE week and I’m starting to panic. I don’t know what to do!”

He sort of takes a breath but not really, and then he continues…

“I’ve got rent, wages, power, suppliers, insurances, and I’m screwed if this virus lasts as long as they think it will. I’ve just done some calcs and the longest I can last is three months before I run out of cash!”

Dave is gripped with fear and anxiety. But worst of all, he starts stacking one negative thought on top of another. He’s not in a good place.

Isaw a few other mates go through the same thing during the drought.

Terror is mental. It’s not physical. And that’s what we’re faced with right now regarding this virus.

But Dave’s call has shaken me because he is one of the most resilient people I know. Here’s proof:

Firstly, he gave up a cushy job and started his own business from scratch (with a young family). That takes a lot of ticker.

Secondly, in his day, he was an elite sports person. If anyone knows what pressure feels like, it’s this bloke.

So how does someone of his stature end up in a place like this so quickly?

In my opinion, I don’t think it’s a lack of strength or resilience.

Instead, I think people have their own triggers. i.e. the meaning they give to something.

You see it a lot when dealing with other people’s money. Grief is one common example of how people can change in a heartbeat.

And Dave is no different with this virus.

He vents for the next ten minutes but we need a circuit breaker. So I suggest we speak after work, out of earshot from his wife ( I don’t want her panicked by this as well, even though women can intuit when something’s wrong).

We pick up the conversation after work and I start by asking him…

“What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

And that’s when his voice begins to break. His two biggest concerns are not being able to feed his family and having to lay-off staff.

No wonder he feels awful.

So we chatted for a while about different stuff including how he could possibly ameliorate the situation at work and home and by the end of the phone call, his voice had slowed a little.

To be totally honest, I’m not sure I was much help but this is what I learnt from Dave’s call regarding COVID-19?

  1. This virus is more mental than physical
  2. Anxiety is not a weakness. It’s a by-product of the meaning we give something
  3. Question the assumptions you may make about others (which is easy to do at times)
  4. Just listen…which most blokes are hopeless at! (so I’ve been told)

Of course, all this is easier said than done because right now there’s a paradox at play with this virus as well.

In recent days, we’ve been constantly warned about ‘social distancing’. Ironically, at a time when we should be getting closer to each other for support, especially when anxiety levels are sky high.

Physical distance maybe. Social distance, definitely not.

Everyone will need a Rock of Gibraltar at some stage during this virus.

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